The Way to Remember

“… they have forgotten the LORD their God.” Jeremiah 3:21

Somehow, I forgot. The forgetting slipped in gradually, stealth, until suddenly I lost my grip. I don’t know how some people do it, maintain sanity without faith in God. I can’t. When I am not trusting God I can hardly function.

It was not that I completely lost my faith in God, but I simply stopped believing He would answer my prayers. I forgot the taste of His goodness.

This post is for anyone who feels faithless while watching their child suffer, or for that matter, faithless for any reason.

Many years ago now I came to a point in my life where I realized I didn’t have a clue how to find comfort in God. I had been a Christian for at least 25 years at that point, and yet my drug of choice to fill the longing void in my heart was food. I asked God to show me how to find my comfort in Him and, through some hard choices, He did answer that prayer.

But this has been a hard winter. And Sunday night as I lay in bed on the evening of my incarcerated son’s birthday, my mind replayed our visit from the day before. I had tried to ignore the looming razor-wire fences which surround the facility in which he is housed, but I couldn’t drown out the stark glimpses of prison life and the depth of loneliness he experiences. I felt overcome with sorrow, a hard ball of pain stuck deep inside me. I didn’t know how to talk about it, let alone deal with it. It had been seeping out all week, in anticipation of our visit, as I anxiously tried to control my life.

Where could I find comfort? I was faithless, my mind racing to find some way, some plan, to ease this heartache, because lately I had been unable to find relief in God. Suddenly a quiet thought slipped through the chaos, sparking my memory—Jesus called the Holy Spirit “The Comforter”. How could I have forgotten what I learned years ago?

A wisp of light flickered in my heart and I asked God once again to show me how to find my comfort in Him.

I decided to do as I had done those many years before and ask God to lead me to the place in His Word where He would speak comfort to my heart. I laid aside my structured “Read through the Bible in a Year” plan. Tentatively, I opened the Bible at random to Jeremiah 3, and God in His faithfulness began to draw me.

“Return, O faithless children, declares the LORD; for I am your master… I thought you would call me, My Father, and would not turn from following me… Return, O faithless sons; I will heal your faithlessness.” Jeremiah 3:14,19,22

To one struggling with doubt, these words were like honey. When I am faithless, God yearns for me. And He wants me to call Him “My Father,” not just Father. He wants me to know He is personally accessible to me. I have a Father who I can cling to and trust that He will not reject me because of my doubts. God is my place of security and safety and love. I can stop trying to find comfort somewhere else—frantically trying to figure out what I need.

God is not waiting for me to work up faith. He just beckons me to come to Him, and says He will take care of my faithlessness. He will heal it. All I have to do is return, run into His strong arms and let Him heal me. Faithlessness is like a sickness in need of My Father’s healing touch. And He doesn’t heal this sickness from a distance. No, He wants the doubting one in His arms.

And so yesterday I ran to Him and clung to His chest and cried out my questions. “Why are You seeming so distant and like You are ignoring me? It’s been so long, LORD. It’s hard to believe You care when my son remains hurting. Why haven’t You healed him? And… is it my fault?

I cried, “God, these are the questions that swirl around inside me and I don’t know what to do with them. So here’s my heart, My Father. Please heal my faithlessness. Please comfort me.”

As I continued to pour out my heart to The Comforter, I felt that painful knot inside me begin to unravel. He truly is The Comforter, and His embrace has begun to heal my faithlessness.

If you have forgotten… if you need to return…

The Comforter is accessible.

The Father wants you.

So just come to Him.