My Key to Peace

      “Is God pleased with me?” That is the question that hovers just below the surface soon after those pesky accusing thoughts sneak in. And the answer to that question is what most controls my peace.

     Since I was a young child I have always been afraid of breaking the law or doing anything wrong. I never imagined that one day I would shop specifically for court clothes because I would need them so often… or that the jail receptionist would know my child’s name by my face when I step up to the information window. I have now mastered the art of going through the metal detectors and have sat beside more than one of my children, more times than I can remember, on those cold, hard benches awaiting the judge. I have felt the gaze of accusation from those watching me. I have stood silent before their assumptions and wrestled with self-doubt and self-condemnation. I have watched my son be mocked in the newspaper, condemned to prison in the courtroom, handcuffed and led away… “How could I have failed so miserably at being what he needed?” As I mull over the years of his life and replay memories of my sin and weakness, the question always surfaces… “God, what do You think of me?”

     The only solution I have found to this crushing weight of lonely pain is to simply ask God my question. I ask Him to show me the lies I’m believing and lead me to the truth. No one else can give me the answer that my soul longs to hear. I have to hear it straight from Jesus.

     Since I’m already out over my head,  I would like to share with you a window into my conversation with Jesus, what I believe He’s told me through scripture in response to my question. I will include references at the end, because the scriptures are what anchor my heart in these truths. The only reason God can say this to me is because Jesus died for my sins. The day I put my trust in Him as my Savior and asked Him to forgive me He took all my sin and brokenness, washed me clean and made me new. That is the solid rock I stand on. Without this rock the answer would be very different. If you are asking God the same question… come, I so want you to know-- there’s room on this rock for you too!

 

My Child,

     Yes, you are my child. What you feel for your child, that deep longing for connection, I feel that for you too. You are precious to me, beautiful to me. I see myself in you. I enjoy you!

      I have placed your children in your care because I trust you, and you are doing a good job. Of course, you’re not perfectly all they need. That’s ok. I Am. I Am the one who will restore their souls. I Am their Savior. I Am the one who will set them free. I Am the one who will satisfy and heal the ache in their hearts. It’s Me! You don’t have to do any of that. You are there to love them and walk alongside them. You are doing a great work. You represent my heart, this love that will not give up, that pursues and carries and endures.

      I know you feel numb sometimes. It’s ok. This is a long journey. It’s ok to breathe and rest and find joy. I give you my peace and my joy. Go ahead and laugh today! Laugh because I am carrying all this, and you are free to love without carrying the weight of all their needs that you were never designed to bear. Give them to Me.

     Yes, your sin and mistakes affected them. They have wounds. But I Am your Savior and theirs. I have washed you clean. Now it is as if you had never sinned. All I see is the love you have given and I say “Well done, Child!”

     Look at Me. Look at My eyes. I hold your face in My hands and lift your chin and say “I… love... you.” I surround you with My favor as with a shield.

     And I am going after your children, to give them all I bought for them on the cross. I Am enough for them, and I Am enough for you. And yes! I Am pleased with you!

 

1 John 3:1; Song of Songs 4:1; Genesis 1:27; Psalm 149:4; Ephesians 2:10; Exodus 3:14; Psalm 23:3; Luke 2:11; Isaiah 61:1; Isaiah 55:1,2; John 14:27, John 15:9,11; Philippians 4:4; Romans 5:1,2; Romans 8:1; Psalm 32:1,2; 1 Corinthians 13:13; Psalm 3:3; Psalm 5:12; Song of Songs 4:9,10