The Perfect Gift for Parents of Prodigals

The shrill sound of a whistle pierced the air again. “Traveling”.  His fists clenched and my heart sank as I watched his pain seep out through the cracks of the lid. He tried hard to keep it all down under, but the boiling threatened to explode at any moment. He was “not good enough”… working harder than anyone out there and losing the joy of the game.

How can I tell him he’s already good enough? “Play like it doesn’t matter how you do. Play like it’s just fun.”

What a picture of my own struggle. I need to hear those words over my life too. “Play like it doesn’t matter how you do. Play like it’s just fun.” So much of the pressure falls off when I let Jesus whisper that into my ear. He tells me I’m already loved, already pleasing to Him because Jesus died for my sins and made me perfectly right with Him.

I find it challenging at Christmastime to find a gift for someone who doesn’t need anything. It is easy to give to those with lots of visible needs, but a gift brings less joy when it’s perceived to be unneeded. One of the benefits of having a prodigal child is that I am regularly forced to see the “in my face” truth of my neediness. It’s not only “in my face” but it’s also out there for others to see.

 When my children were little I found comfort in a sign on a friend’s refrigerator that said “If parents were perfect, their children wouldn’t need God.” I think I could add another sign… “If parents were perfect they wouldn’t need God.

I need God. And one of the worst places I can be is away from that truth. There is a sweet spot that can be found somewhere in the middle of recognizing my total inadequacy to meet my child’s deep needs. It can also be found when I feel like I have nothing to write, no answers, no strength to hold my own head up, let alone anyone else’s. It is that wonderful place where my thirsty heart soaks up the words of Luke 2:10,11…

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you  good news of great joy that will be for  all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.”

 

“Father God, You have given me the perfect gift—Jesus.

Thank-you with all my heart.

 Jesus, I am a sinner and lost without You.

 You are my Savior and I throw myself into Your arms

 and cling to Your neck with my whole being.

 Thank-you for loving me just as I am.”

I Believe

"I would have despaired unless I had believed

 that I would see the goodness of the LORD

 in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;

Be strong and let your heart take courage;

Yes, wait for the LORD."

 

Psalm 27:13-14

Manoah's Parenting Manual: How to Raise a Wild Man

Just tell me what to do. Teach me the rule; show me the boundary. Make known to me the plan, the steps to take to get there--- then I feel safe. I can relate to Manoah, the father of Samson in Judges 13. Manoah’s wife, who had been barren, was told by the LORD that she would have a son who would deliver Israel from their enemies. What was Manoah’s response to this awesome news? In Judge 13:8 he responded by begging God “…teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born.” Again in verse 12 he says “…what is to be the rule for the boy’s life and work?” God almost seems to not answer the question, because His answer was simply that they were to dedicate him to the LORD. I can imagine them standing there wondering “But what do we do?”

I think God was saying “You won’t be able to prepare him by rules. Only I can empower him to do the work I’ve created him to do. Your job is to continually give him over to Me.”

As a parent I’ve often felt clueless when faced with decisions about rules for a child who will not obey. Fear rushes in as I envision the dangerous path my child is on, and a lie blasts in my ears that his safety and future depend on which rule I pick. Samson was a wild man. Had he lived today I think he probably would have spent many a school day in the principal’s office, and years in trouble with the law. He was not one to say “Just tell me what to do.” I think it was God’s mercy to tell Samson’s parents right from the start, “This is My child. You do the best you can to raise him according to My Word, but it will be My Spirit stirring him that will empower him and make him great.”

This week the words of Judges 13:25 have been cycling through my heart. “…the Spirit of the LORD began to stir him…” This is a gentle yet powerful phrase. The great Creator of the universe interacts intimately with us such that He can “stir” us… God interacting with one single human heart. No matter how successful and prosperous our children appear, no matter how good we may have done at parenting, the truth remains that their ultimate success depends solely on the Spirit of the LORD beginning to stir them.

 

“LORD, I give my children to You. Thank-you that You are holding them. In Jesus’ name I ask You to stir their hearts to know You. Stir their hearts to hunger for Your Word and hear Your voice. Stir their hearts to love You passionately and give their lives to follow You.”

Armed and Dangerous

I wander through the mall, my heart breaking as I remember my son’s eyes—like windows barely cracked open, hiding the widespread destruction wrought by the enemy of his soul. How can I go shopping while he carries such pain? I have to let him go, but I cannot. I love him.

This week I have battled to find peace-- fear trying to devour me. But fear will never win this war. I am a daughter of The Most High God, indwelt by the Holy Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead. And though I am merely a child in the arms of her Father, I am armed and dangerous. I am not like the unarmed crew of a cargo ship, hiding below deck from attacking pirates. I will fight on my knees until my son is set free.

The lie is that I am powerless. The truth is that I have been given weapons, and “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10:4

I may feel afraid at times, but I will draw my sword and run straight toward the enemy because I have the name of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the Word of God, the power of the Holy Spirit, and massive angels running with me.

All too often I catch myself feeling like I can’t rest, can’t relax the fight, as if my son’s life depended on me. How foolish! I am called to the front lines, but I am carried there by the LORD. And when I need to rest, the One who holds me securely in His arms continues to fight for me. Romans 8:26 says “…the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”

Waiting

“Since ancient times no one has heard,

no ear has perceived,

no eye has seen any God besides you,

who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.”

 Isaiah 64:4

 

When I was about eleven I was hospitalized for a surgery on my leg. I remember feeling panicky, suffocating in loneliness as I lay in that bed alone in my room. I was waiting for my dad to come. He was my security. I pressed the call button and asked the nurse to be sure to send him in to me when he came to the desk no matter how late it got. I needed him and I was waiting for him with intensity, knowing he would take care of me.

Now I do not know if my dad knew how intently I was waiting for him, but I know that if I knew one of my children was waiting for me like that--- I would do just about anything to get to them. And I believe that when God sees our hearts waiting for Him, trusting He will come, His father heart cannot turn away. He acts.

 

“So Jesus, I am waiting for YOU. All my hope for my children is in You. I trust You. I know You will act on my behalf, because You love me as Your dear child. Thank-you LORD. You are my security.”

Behold Our God!

Today as I read Isaiah 62 I am captured by God’s passion for Israel and His plan that they would be a light to lead the rest of the nations into the knowledge of Him. Isaiah 62:1 says… “For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem’s sake I will not remain quiet, till her righteousness shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch.” This is the greatness of our God! He will not give up. Relentless, He will keep speaking, keep pursuing, until His people burst forth in the brilliant glory of salvation. He is a Warrior, abandoned in love, and He wins His bride over. His undying, overcoming love for Israel, a child who has rejected Him and repeatedly rebelled against Him, is to be a banner for all the world to see how great is the love and commitment He has to redeem us. It’s like He’s standing up on a high platform, holding up this banner, His relationship with Israel, and shouting to us, “THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!”

This is our God! As we pray for our children I believe He pursues them with all the passion of Isaiah 62.

Isaiah 62:6 and 7 say… “I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night. You who call on the LORD, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth.” God has called people to pray for Israel until her salvation shines out like a blazing torch, and God has also set us up like this as watchmen to pray for our children. He has invited us into the battle to pray in His purposes for them.

Let us be strong and never give up, until their righteousness and salvation blaze forth. And then may they become bright torches to lead others through the dark into the arms of the LORD also.

A Parent's Mirage of Control

Preoccupied with housework, I was oblivious to what was going on around me. As my husband would say, I usually don’t notice the pink elephant on the side of the road as we drive by. I remember one time my child thoroughly painted himself, the TV and nearly everything nearby with shortening while I was clueless, baking bread in the same room. Anyway, back to the story… suddenly I realized that all the while I was daydreaming, my husband had been putting up Christmas decorations. Without my notice, our house had been transformed into something resembling K-Mart at Christmastime, on steroids. Gaudy red and green adornments glared at me everywhere I turned, like neon signs.

 Ugh! I panicked. Quickly I did the math and realized it was only mid-November. How was I ever going to make it all the way to Christmas, at which time I could finally take them down? Panic soon gave way to boiling over anger. How could my husband do this when he knows how I hate knickknacks, especially around the holidays? Seething, I tried to get up and follow him out the door to tell him how angry I was before he left me fuming for the rest of the day. But, for the life of me, I couldn’t get up. I struggled against an unseen force that held me paralyzed until finally… I woke up. I sprang to my feet only to relax into the wonderful realization that it had all been a dream.

I hate to admit it, but having a nightmare like this one is probably a sure sign of being a control freak. Needless to say, I like having my environment orderly and simple. I am easily overwhelmed by clutter. It seems a large part of my time is spent trying to keep my life, possessions, responsibilities and relationships all at a manageable level, where I feel a sense of control.

The issues involved with having a prodigal child are not manageable. I cannot control his choices, his safety, his happiness, his effect on family dynamics, or his beliefs about me or about God. Deep down I feel responsible for all these things because he’s my son. But the other day I sensed God speak to me about my children. He quietly said, “Let’s think about them as My kids.” It’s a subtle shift in thought, but it takes the pressure off. Instead of feeling like I’m responsible, it helps me let go of that need for control because, as their Father, God has assumed the responsibility for my kids. Their salvation and the full rescue and redemption of their lives is in His hands. He calls me simply to walk alongside them, follow the Shepherd’s voice, and to “Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10