Ribbit!

The other day I snuck into My Hiding Place (see last week’s post, Safer than a Glass Box) and I asked the LORD how He sees me. As I closed my eyes in prayer I saw a picture of (don’t laugh) a frog. I thought “Oh, great… of all things. Couldn’t He see me as a princess or a beautiful child or a valiant warrior or something lovely or powerful? But then I heard Him whisper to my heart-- “You sing in the night, like My frogs.”

I like that. This is what I am doing here in this blog. I may not make the most beautiful sound, but I am singing out as a sign of life in the pitch blackness. If anyone out there is feeling hopeless or discouraged, I hope that it encourages you to know that you are not alone in your heartache. There is someone else here in the mud with you and I’m croaking out my song with all my heart. It goes like this… 

“Jesus is faithful. He loves you and He is enough to carry 

your heart every day through whatever you are facing.”

My father has a cabin way out in the sticks of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, and on many a trip up there we would make a nighttime visit to the frog pond. Upon arrival we would be told “Shhhh… turn off all the lights and don’t make a sound.” And then we would hear them… not just one frog, but a whole chorus. For such tiny creatures, together they were croaking out a symphony that was overpowering. In the middle of that wild and scary darkness there was singing coming from every direction.

So I guess what I am trying to say is… go ahead and sing out the encouragement God gives you. Don’t be afraid to share your story. Let’s make a beautiful ruckus in the middle of the night, and let the world know that there is life here. Because apart from Jesus, people don’t know that it’s possible to sing in the dark.

When we share God’s Word with each other, we build each other’s faith. Romans 10:17 says “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”

It says in Hebrews 11:30 “By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days.” Do you ever feel like any of your adult children have thick, impenetrable walls separating them from God and from you? Take heart! There was no sign of movement at all in the walls of Jericho until suddenly God brought them down. And He did it, not by human strength (or by a parent having the right skills or answers or advice). He did it “By faith”.  I want to be the best parent I can be, but the miracles I am waiting for will come only one way… by God’s grace through faith. And faith is not something I can muster up. It’s a gift God gives through the hearing of His Word. And through croaking it out! The more we hear and speak out the truths of God’s words, the more our faith grows.

  

Is there a song you could sing out today? Maybe you would like to share a line or two of your song here in the comments of this blog.   

Safer than a Glass Box

When I was a teenager, and into my twenties, I struggled with bulimia. A few people eventually knew, but for the most part I lived a desperately lonely, secret life. My days revolved around trying to control my eating and my weight. I felt like I walked around in a glass box, able to see the people around me, but unable to feel their touch. They offered me love, which I outwardly accepted, but in my heart I rejected it thinking, “If you only knew the ugly thoughts I have, you wouldn’t love me.” My soul was starving because I wouldn’t take in love from people who didn’t really know me, which was everyone. And shame kept me hiding.

Fast forward 30 years.

My son was sentenced on Friday, and Sunday at church someone came up to me and said “I saw the article in the paper…”  My heart sank and my first inclination was to hide, because I hadn’t seen the article yet. My thoughts raced… “What did they say about my son this time?” And then… “What do people think of me?”

One beautiful gift God has given me through all this pain is the gift of a Hiding Place. I am learning that I don’t have to hide inside myself. I can run into the safety of my Savior who knows me completely--- every sin and failure, everything I’ve done wrong, every parenting mistake that affected my children--- and He stands tall behind me, smiling, and wraps His big strong arms around me. And He speaks out loud into my ear, in front of everyone, that I am forgiven and that He delights in me. Outrageous grace!

 “ALL BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE, MY DARLING;

THERE IS NO FLAW IN YOU.”

Song of Songs 4:7

If, like me, you have struggled with shame, I want you to know that this Hiding Place is handicap accessible. It is made for weak and broken people, with a Door that flings wide open when we choose to trust Jesus. Jesus says in John 10:9 “I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved…” The button is a simple desperate prayer--- “Jesus, I need You. Please help me.”

And once we enter by the Door, Jesus gives us full access to Himself.

This is an amazing gift and I wish I could unwrap it all at once. But for me, it’s been a progressive journey of coming to trust that I am secure, always and forever, held safe in Jesus’ arms. Some days trusting God is easier than on other days. Some days I still flounder. But when I look back through the years I know that through every trial Jesus is wooing my heart, drawing me to Himself, showing me more and more of His faithfulness. That is His goodness. As painful as it can be, I am thankful for every opportunity to run deeper into the heart of God--- My Hiding Place. As I cling to His Word, He speaks to me… “I love you.”

One day at a time, My Hiding Place is becoming more and more my home.

                            “You are a hiding place for me;

 you preserve me from trouble;

 you surround me with shouts of deliverance.”

Psalm 32:7

Name Change

After much deliberation, I have decided to change the title of my blog to… (drumroll) A Stronger Safety. This was the title of my first post and the title I had first chosen for this blog. I hope this does not cause any confusion, but I would like to expand the focus of my blog to include a slightly wider range of material--- with less focus on the “prodigal” and more attention given to the journey of learning to trust Jesus, whatever issues arise. To be honest, I am uncomfortable labeling any beloved child of God as a prodigal because I believe God is restoring them, and that’s where I want to fix my eyes.

We have all been prodigals at some time in our lives, in some fashion. And many times we, as parents of “prodigals” need to run into the waiting arms of Jesus just as much as our children do.  I can run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to control my life and my children’s lives so that we are safe.  To quote from my first post on this blog---

“Safety… it seems to be a basic need. When I don’t feel safe, I don’t have peace. To be honest with you, writing a blog does not feel at all safe to me. There is nowhere to hide. I am exposed to the entire world. But just beyond my fear there is a safety that is stronger than the safety of being unknown. It is stronger than the safety of order and control and not making mistakes. And it is stronger than the safety of having well-adjusted children who follow the rules, make wise choices, love God and love me. This Stronger Safety is a person—Jesus Christ, and this blog will be about Him.”

Because I still have sons in the court system and battling addictions, I hope that my posts will continue to be relevant to those of you seeking peace while loving prodigals. We will see where God takes me. Maybe the name will be the only noticeable difference. I hope you will still tune in and that the change will remind you more of the safety we have in Jesus, than the issues that bombard us.

You can watch for my first post in A Stronger Safety  within the next week or so.

Please let me know your thoughts!